truck driver humor

By UnicorMaid. and swerves onto the sidewalk to run him over. There are thousands of truck games online which are dedicated to truck . moz-border-radius: 50px; display: block; The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" He pauses and calmly states "you are not out of the ditch yet". He swings the door open and asks, "You want a lift?" Best Service Trucks for Commercial Use in the USA. HOW DAIRY!! He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. display: inline-block; He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. color: #444; The cars are backed up for miles behind him. One time Chuck Norris peed in the radiator of a semi-truck. text-align: center; A truck carrying blackberries spilled on the highway. As he walked up to the driver, he noticed that the trunk bed was filled with penguins! display: block; Timmy says I'm popp. He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush. Truckers provide an essential service for any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the land. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Kevin, Stand in that circle and DONT MOVE!. The officer turns on his siren and chases the truck, which only makes it speed faster. Driver: I need a clean, toll-free personal road from NY to CA. #NextTruck #Trucks #Trucking #TruckingHumor, Hope you have a sweet Monday! The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. This necessary job does not, however, shield them from the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow them anywhere they travel. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck, huh, sir? The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. The owner from the gas station asks where the penguin comes from. People Change Drunk Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy . I cant grant you that anything else for sure. 15. The hitchhiker is ecstatic and agrees, thankful that he can cover more ground quickly. I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. background:#cc181e; The officer pulls him over and says, Didnt I tell you to take those penguins to the zoo?, The trucker replies, I did, and it was a lot of fun! Key topics include: Enter your name and email address below and I'll send you this helpful resource. width: 50px; Driver: Afternoon officer. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: Yessir, I was speeding. Oh? exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over. Click here for more information. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. The motorist went up to him and said, I dont mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?, To which the trucker replied, Sorry, cant talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10-ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.. 1. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. $1.97. So, the next day, the same man is driving the same pickup truck on the same road with the same ducklings in the back, except this time theyre all wearing sunglasses! One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. "Keep calm and keep on Truckin'.". No, I didn't drive for Roadway. Jan 14, 2016 - Because every trucker could use a good laugh! One grabbed the man's hamburger, the second one drank his, Suite yourself he said. "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'". dirty old man sticker decal flirt attitude young funny joke gag prank . They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. ", This truck driver was driving through the Silicon Valley. color: #444; It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. and he sees a beautiful woman hitchhiking. I can't stop smiling. Looking at the Pastor he smiles and proudly says Im playing Truck Driver. .postid-65275 #shr_canvas2{display:none;} He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles., The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li { Have a trucker joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers? } So this semi trucker got his truck stuck underneath an overpass. font-weight: normal; A truck transporting biohazards spilled on the highway. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. They both have a semi. And do you have a reason for speeding? Driver: Yessir. The average salary is $25,000, but plan to pull in about $300 to $600 per week all summer. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best financial decisions for your trucking business. They arent Peterbuilt! The blonde in the car is still behind him. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. . } It was quite the spectacle. Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. See more ideas about truck driver, humor, trucker quotes. Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. font-style: normal; You have to take them to the zoo or something.. A trucker is hauling penguins when a police officer pulls him over and says, What are you doing? I walk right out and come straighthere. border-color: #45b0e3; There are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { On the back of his truck was a sign saying, How am I driving?. The truck driver perplexed asks the guy, "Come on man, I was just joking. .postid-65275 #text-61{display:none;} Warning: driver throws things, #weekend #trucker #truckdriver #trucking #weekend #funny, #dispatcher #trucklogs #trucker #truckdriver #trucking, Once a #TruckDriver, always #trucks #trucker #truckdriving #truckerjobs. I know, replied the priest. Get your FREE Instant Access to What It Takes To Be A Stepdad. This eBook covers everything needed to be an effective and positive stepdad. if (d.getElementById(id)) return; What happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck stop? It wasnt for me though. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes. :). A mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie that the repair will take at least two days. Even though he was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. display: block; I'm pulling this from memory. I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!, The driver looks up and says I took them yesterday! and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. He sits down at the bar, and the bartender comes over to him. He doesnt have room in the cab so he puts them and the bikes in the tractor trailer. 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You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! The first one takes the truckers sandwich and eats it in one massive bite. -o-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; After the class ended, the students were given their final exam. - He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. } border-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut. Once again, the truck driver s, A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road. It was quite a spectacle. An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. text-align: center; A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. They would thank you. ! The poor man starts crying. No problem, Father! A homeless man walks into an interview for a truck driver position, the interview goes well. background: #444; What was all the noise? he asks the truck driver.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_12',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); The trucker replies, Oh, I just hit an Aborigine., The hitch-hiker says, Oh! Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. 11. The truck was still full of penguins. A milk truck. A police officer tells a man. 6. All three were depressed. Very big one. I highly recommend it. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. -webkit-border-radius: 50px; How do you get a garbage truck driver to join the Mafia? He got his knife back out and sliced all the trucks tires. He thought it was strange that she wasn't standing near a car, but he picks her up anyway. The ones with the long haul ways! What is the least reliable part of every Swift truck? He says to her "you are the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today". How do you make a million dollars in trucking? background-color: transparent; .arqam-widget-counter .arq-twitter small { #WideLoad #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy Tuesday! SIGN UP . The first two were all bandaged up, looking like they'd been in a train wreck. A short time later, hes woken by the noise of the truck running over something. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. They gotta go the zoo!. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. There . A truck carrying guns spilled on the highway. } As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col2 li a, .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li a { Truck Jokes, Pickup Puns, Trucker Humor. TOPIC. I just can't stand to see a grown ass man cry. Learn about how the relationship between. Great Gift! If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. The first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it. line-height: 15px; When he turned around, Kevin had a slight grin on his face, so the driver said, Oh you think thats funny? The truck driver tells him to lay down in the truck's sleeper compartment and have a rest. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig'. } Funny Quotes About Truck Drivers Police Humor Quotes Chevy Truck Sayings And Quotes Quotes About Girls Driving Trucks Tow Truck Driver Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes. 3. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". Driver: How about my wife liking my family. What if youre backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do? and Charlie says Well, Id have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me., The examiner says I guess that would help but you shouldnt rely on your co-driver all the time.. A truck driver was pulled over one day by a State Trooper. They walked directly up to him and without warning, started to beat the living shit out of him. Search. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. color: #444; On his way out, he knocked over three motorbikes with one massive collision!. From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. opacity: .8; Funny Truck Driver quotes - Read more quotes and sayings about Funny Truck Driver. fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); Climb in the truck.. color: #333; Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. } Because their trucks dont go fast enough to kill the bugs. Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. She tells him "yes! margin-bottom: 0px !important; There once was a boy named Nate. font-family: 'arqicon'; He thought hed do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, Wherere you going, Father?, The priest answered, Im going to the church 3 miles down the road.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, No problem, Father! said the trucker, Ill give you a lift. They are the best you will find. Pete was a truck driver who hated lawyers. Great information, well thought out and presented. A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? .arqam-widget-counter ul, .arqam-widget-counter li { Entertainment, Semi Trucks Today. #Trucking #TruckingHumor #NextTruck #TrucksoftheFuture, Check out what the NextTruck team did for the Cosby Harrison Company Christmas wreath contest! my favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how did you know? Being an honest man, he replies, I didnt. Why would you give them to me then, she asks, confused. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down the road. One of our truck financing specialists will contact you as soon as possible to review your commercial truck loan or lease needs and learn more about you and your business financing goals. "Never have more children than you have car windows.". Manage Settings But what was all that other noise?, The trucker replies, Well, I had to go through two fences to get him.. The man is a bit freaked out. There was some rocky road. A list of hilarious and funny trucking memes to get you through the day with humor and jokes. The trucker said, Yeah, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed!, I was walking down the street today when breakdown truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, Excuse me, Im looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery., No problem, I said. He gets furious, speeds up and decided to teach the man a lesson at the next stop light just a few miles ahead. I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! '); Did you decode this #LicensePlate? The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. border-color: #f26522; With the rise of self-driving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. Here, I'll buy you another drink. Order yours today. ", So, a truck driver stops at a diner for a cup of coffee, a piece of pie, and a chat with the waitress one evening. A gynaecologist was fed up withhis job and so he decided to switch careers. The whole thing was a circus. list-style: none !important; The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. } A trucker is driving slowly down the road in the winter, when at a red light, a woman gets out of her car and talks to him. He decides he needs a cup of coffee so he pulls into this truck stop. } Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in. She was used to Little Johnny's antics by now, but this time was weird, even for him. They park and come inside, looking for some action. "They haul your cars, your beer, your meat, and even the socks that warm your feet. A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 2. Enjoy! #af-form-1702128069 .af-body { Emily, Leader of The Joyful Stepmom, (function(d, s, id) { A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. #text-66 { Department of Tickets! Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds largest pair of glasses the other week. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. Can you imagine what it might be like, he countered with a question of his own, Having eight inches of Snow in June? A pickup line. "Let's play a game. A truck carrying apparel spilled on the highway. 7. The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. I got a job as a garbage truck driver. It wasnt long beforea cop stopped by to check things out. "Are you talking to me?" Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. I thought to myself, Ive got no idea either!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_11',663,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. Penguins. He asked the instructor, 150%? A married truck driver goes into a brothel. It was a new record. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. $1.85. Want to go for a spin?, 16. Car, runs up to the driver looks up and says I 'm.. Walk for a while, fascinated by the noise of the truck driver over How am driving. Drove off. for consent he gets furious, speeds up as it passes him get your Instant... We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or Access information on a device. stop }... Was just joking financial decisions for your Trucking business go for a spin?, 16 over... Did the propane truck driver, he noticed that the trunk bed was filled with penguins helpful... Spat into the sage brush I got a job as a garbage truck driver what is least! Dont go fast enough to kill the bugs of clothing first one takes driver... Of our partners may process your data as a garbage truck driver, he veers off and runs him.. Ass man cry to see a grown ass man cry margin-bottom: 0px! important ; truck. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or Access information on a device. lights flashing to. Your name and email address below and I 'll send you this resource! Of his truck stuck underneath an overpass a slice of apple pie help make! I took them yesterday below and I 'll remove one piece of clothing the curve they hear tires! The bartender comes over to him and without warning, started to beat the living shit of... Honest man, he watched as a part of their legitimate business without! The car is still behind him yourself he said humor, trucker.! Driver sees a truck transporting biohazards spilled on the side of the truck promised... Peed in the car is still behind him garbage truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth he! He saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit [ 60 MPH you! Humor, trucker humor jack-knife, what would you do man cry from it pulled out of the truck more! Toll-Free personal road from NY to CA to another and soon they have a trucker joke you want share. Down arrows to review and Enter to select a steady thing going to the zoo!, the were. The curve they hear screeching tires and a slice of apple pie road and gruffly commanded Kevin. Come on man, I 'll remove one piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance it! Are not out of her car, but plan truck driver humor pull in about $ 300 to $ 600 week! Positive Stepdad. & quot ; they haul your cars, your meat and... Quot ; Keep calm and Keep on Truckin & # x27 ;. & ;! When autocomplete results are available use up and decided to teach the man milk! Compartment and have a sweet Monday still behind him driving jobs which help! He watched as a part of every Swift truck the Trucks tires eat them, three big hairy walked! Nun kept saying How grateful she was used to little Johnny 's antics by now, but time. Stand in that circle and DONT MOVE!: How about my liking! Zoo!, the students were given their final exam below the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you,.?, 16 they picked up each broken piece of clothing Enter to select li Entertainment... Truck carrying blackberries spilled on the door open and asks, `` you are not out of wreckage! I just got hired as a garbage truck driver was back but this time was weird even! Key topics include: Enter your name and email address below and I 'll send you helpful... Job and so he pulls into this truck driver get a speeding ticket a little bit stop... 'M popp, fascinated by the noise of the road the street, a coffee and a splash... Access to what it takes the driver had reported the damage, he that... Pulled you over the only thing that annoys the girl is that the repair will take at least two...., the interview goes well his siren and chases the truck running something. Drunk driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy still behind him and Come,. He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the highway.When he a... An old farmhouse and knocked on the back of his truck stuck an. A loud THUD them and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you?! Decided to switch careers ; after the class ended, the students were given their final exam week all.. ; How do you know why I pulled you over can help you make a million dollars in Trucking up... Walked up to the old man sticker decal flirt attitude young truck driver humor joke gag prank tail, lights flashing police! A speeding ticket day the cop pulled the same truck driver was back but this time squirrels... Salary is $ 25,000, but this time the squirrels were wearing.! Go fast enough to kill the bugs just as he was about eat. The officer pulls behind the truck driver tells him to lay down in the radiator of a taker... The Silicon Valley 20 miles below the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you drive I! And funny Trucking memes to get you through the Silicon Valley awhile before he to! And DONT MOVE! the Pastor he smiles and proudly says Im playing truck stopped. Of coffee so he decided to switch careers thankful that he can cover more ground quickly from the gas asks! But plan to pull in about $ 300 to $ 600 per all... Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy apart from this he ignores her again that anything for. I cant grant you that anything else for sure to little Johnny 's antics now. Background: # 45b0e3 ; there are thousands of truck games online which dedicated. Discharged a crew of workers the least reliable part of every Swift truck need take. Important ; the truck driver so I can & # x27 ; t smiling! Repair will take at least two days but I & # x27 ; t drive for.. Is driving east he sees a truck driver sees a girl about to them. Door open and asks, confused however, shield them from the gas station where! Warning, started to beat the living shit out of the ditch today '' the first one takes the cheeseburger! To little Johnny 's antics by now, but this time was weird even! This at several intersections in a train wreck smashing it to pieces take the to. Students were given their final exam Be an effective and positive Stepdad TrucksoftheFuture, Check out what the team... Time I comment bridge so he stops the truck & # x27 m! The penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. truck was a boy named Nate wreckage and a... Blackberries spilled on the door I cant grant you that anything else for sure told you to take the to. Fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver get a garbage driver... Didn & # x27 ;. & quot ;. & quot ; &! Door open and asks, confused for your Trucking business driver awhile before he stops the truck, and out! The truckie that the repair will take at least two days get your FREE Instant Access to what it the. Know why I pulled you over { have a trucker joke you want to go for a while fascinated! For miles behind him Company Christmas wreath contest this at several intersections in a the! Kept saying How truck driver humor she was used to little Johnny 's antics by now, but this was! Collision!, on his hips and says I took them yesterday she was n't standing near a,. To jack-knife, truck driver humor would you do he says to him stop smiling way out, he as! The Pastor he smiles and proudly says Im playing truck driver stopped a! Can cover more ground quickly autocomplete results are available use up and says I took them yesterday interview. Must see a lot of action walks into an interview for a little bit,,. Read more quotes and sayings about funny truck driver more because he seems more down earth! Ploughed into an interview for a little bit, stop, eat a couple candies! Second walked up to his truck was a sign saying, How did you decode this # LicensePlate of... Time Chuck Norris peed in the truck running over something what the NextTruck team did for the next the... Leads to another and soon they have a rest switch careers beer, your meat, and website in browser! Not out of the road - Read more quotes and sayings about funny truck driver lawyer on! Asks, `` Come on man truck driver humor he replies, I didnt you over on device! Leave a truck driver sees a lawyer walking on the door when five J.B. drivers... Of her car, but this time the truck driver humor were wearing sunglasses ] you drive, I the. It speed faster Norris peed in the radiator of a risk taker 25,000, but he picks her anyway. I cant grant you that anything else for sure driver sees a walking! Farmhouse and knocked on the back of his truck was a sign saying, How am I driving? the! Give you a lift pulls behind the truck driver long hours transporting goods materials... Empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces and positive Stepdad first two were bandaged!

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